Earlier this week my roommate greeted me at the door with a huge, inviting hug. I backed out of it. “Wow, I rarely ever see you grumpy” was his comment. Instantly I was filled with remorse. How many people receive that kind of loving “welcome home” greeting?
“I feel like I’m shriveling up inside.” I said. “I feel as though parts of me, some of the best parts of me, are shutting down, closing up, dying.” For the next 30 min my roommate listened as I spilled my soul. Transitions are difficult times for me, I don’t cope with the stress well. I struggle to adjust to new semesters, new clinical’s, new schedules, new expectations. Two and a half weeks ago I transitioned into a new clinical…its been hard to catch my breath since. I have felt myself closing up and growing distant from friendships, self-love, and the optimism I characteristically live my life by.
I have been shutting down the parts of me that make me uniquely LEAH.
My capacity to befriend and love others AND myself shrinks. My capacity to live with a sense of ambition and adventure , my willingness to dive into different experiences, dwindles.
“Priorities” my roommate said. “You need to set priorities so you don’t feel swallowed up on everything you are juggling.”
As C.S. Lewis once said (and my mother reminded me ❤️) — “the moment you wake up each morning… All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job of each morning consists in shoving them all back; in listening to that Other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other, larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing through.”
Listening. Surrendering. Because when I cannot, He can.
My days are full. My life is busy.
I am privileged. I am blessed.
I am GRATEFUL for a clinical experience that exposes me to some of the most complex cases while under the supervision of some of the most incredible therapists.
I am GRATEFUL for the opportunity to combine my passion for running with my passion for helping the least of these in a tangible, meaningful, life-changing way.
I am grateful for an understanding and thoughtful roommate, for generous donors, for the opportunity to hug my Mom in just 39 days.
I am grateful that even though sleep evades me this evening, there is a pot of coffee on autopour for my 4:30am alarm.
I am especially grateful that somehow, someway, the tasks of EACH day are completed in some shape or form…and I owe it all to the One who promises to give me the strength I need for whatever comes my way.
242 days till graduation.
39 days till the marathon.
Roughly 169 more training miles till I cross that start line.
118 lives still waiting for clean water.
Time helps shrink some of these numberical goals, but access to clean water comes only from taking action. Together, we can provide for the hydration, sanitation and hygiene of 200 individuals. The combination of our efforts will forever change a PERSON, a FAMILY, a COMMUNITY.
Will you join me?
Teamworldvision.org. Search Leah Nichols.